The boy sat down to play his game And then called out his favourite name Mum, oh Mum oh Mother dear I’m rather thirsty over here If you could bring me a cold drink I promise not to make a stink But if you dawdle or refuse I promise you, you’ll sing the blues I’ll … Continue reading The Rules of Play
Funny
A selection of poems and rhymes to make you laugh
Fluent
Anthropology, archaeology, sociology, psychology Cardiology, cosmology, cryptology, zoology So many 'ologies about but there’s only one for me I’m obsessed, enthralled, enraptured by the study of flatology Trumping, blowing, tooting Wind passing day and night Ripeness abounds with interesting sounds Measured by ears and nose but not sight The Latin term is flatus But no … Continue reading Fluent
Don’t Dream It, Be It
There once was a man from Alberta Who skied on a Frank N Furter He slid down the slope With a heart full of hope That one day he'd sled on a burger Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
Fatberg
A monster was sighted in Sidmouth Sixty-four metres wide Longer than a commercial plane Too big for the sewer to hide In the depths of the drainage system Its bulk caused a blockage that backed up the pipes Yet the monster continued to grow in size Because people kept flushing their wipes And pouring oil … Continue reading Fatberg
Pheasant
A pheasant burst from the bushes Screeching its colourful cry Fingernails on blackboard boards Ungainly skip to the sky Pheasants are birds for certain But must have been at the back of the queue When flying skills were meted out Panicked bobbing, gait askew Yet they must have been at the front For their feathers … Continue reading Pheasant
Salary
If celery were salary perhaps we’d all live healthily but money’s bought and money’s sold no longer backed by the price of gold the salt of the earth if you work hard enough not worth your salt if the getting gets tough in times of Rome it was salt you see whose ownership would set … Continue reading Salary
The Day We Moved the Tank
The day we moved the hot water tank Marked the start of the week that we all stank The one that nearly broke the bank On the day we moved the hot water tank The taps ran dry but we were knee high In that watery stuff as my tears did gush, adding to the … Continue reading The Day We Moved the Tank
Bake Off
Four and twenty blackbirds were baked into a pie But one escaped this wicked fate and soared into the sky Felt freedom touch her wingtips in the rushing of the air Four and twenty heartaches tinged her lightness with despair Time passed by and she became exhausted by her grief Made a resolute decision to … Continue reading Bake Off
Wedding Buffet
It’s a buffet to the buffet now the party’s in full swing the DJ made the call and the crowd went rushing in elbows digging sidewards in a rush towards the ribs a bun fight by the sandwich tray in an effort to call dibs granny’s off her rocker but no one’s got the time … Continue reading Wedding Buffet
When You Gotta Go
Pee upon the toilet seat I can think of nothing worse except of course when some sad soul puts it into verse Sorry about that. Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com I've just finished reading Every Day is a Poem by the wonderful poet Jacueline Suskin and it's lit a poetry fire underneath me. Jacqueline … Continue reading When You Gotta Go