If celery were salary perhaps we’d all live healthily but money’s bought and money’s sold no longer backed by the price of gold the salt of the earth if you work hard enough not worth your salt if the getting gets tough in times of Rome it was salt you see whose ownership would set … Continue reading Salary
Funny
A selection of poems and rhymes to make you laugh
The Day We Moved the Tank
The day we moved the hot water tank Marked the start of the week that we all stank The one that nearly broke the bank On the day we moved the hot water tank The taps ran dry but we were knee high In that watery stuff as my tears did gush, adding to the … Continue reading The Day We Moved the Tank
Bake Off
Four and twenty blackbirds were baked into a pie But one escaped this wicked fate and soared into the sky Felt freedom touch her wingtips in the rushing of the air Four and twenty heartaches tinged her lightness with despair Time passed by and she became exhausted by her grief Made a resolute decision to … Continue reading Bake Off
Wedding Buffet
It’s a buffet to the buffet now the party’s in full swing the DJ made the call and the crowd went rushing in elbows digging sidewards in a rush towards the ribs a bun fight by the sandwich tray in an effort to call dibs granny’s off her rocker but no one’s got the time … Continue reading Wedding Buffet
When You Gotta Go
Pee upon the toilet seat I can think of nothing worse except of course when some sad soul puts it into verse Sorry about that. Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com I've just finished reading Every Day is a Poem by the wonderful poet Jacueline Suskin and it's lit a poetry fire underneath me. Jacqueline … Continue reading When You Gotta Go
The Price You Pay for a Holiday
Back in the day a holiday cost only the pounds that were paid I’d book it and my only worry was the flight being somewhat delayed Perhaps lost luggage or a crap hotel or being accosted by a thief But never before has a trip abroad cost me so much in time and grief The … Continue reading The Price You Pay for a Holiday
Robbin’ Hood
Thirteen miles to go at the start line of the race It’s a marathon not a sprint, so I set a steady pace Actually it’s half of that but let’s not get pedantic It’s lit-er-ally figurative, no need to stress semantics But if we’re being honest, I’m in it for the cash I wore a … Continue reading Robbin’ Hood
Target Practice
For some reason I found it entertaining to read this week's offering out loud in the voice of an aristocratic Sergeant Major, perhaps with a surname like Ramsbottom de Pippington, or something equally grand sounding. It's not obligatory, but it is fun. The pigeon had a complex, one could argue rightly so His coos disdained … Continue reading Target Practice
Stung
I’ve often felt that wasps, have been misunderstood If the Universe created them, they must embody good So I made myself a promise, to never flinch again When a wasp buzzes by, look in its eye, slowly count to ten For days and weeks this little trick, worked magic like a charm As they flew … Continue reading Stung
Wild and Free
If I was free to live a life, divorced from acculturation I like to imagine how things would be, as a sovereign one-woman nation If I could follow the pull of my heart, without fear of sticking out What adaptations would fall away? What unwritten rules would I flout? The first to go would be … Continue reading Wild and Free