A little bit of what lights you up

There’s been a collective vibe of ‘mehness’ floating around lately.  I think many of us have been feeling it in some form or another, so imagine my delight when an exercise in a book I’m reading gave me pause to realise just how much I have to be grateful for.

The book is The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, and the exercise asked me to list twenty things I enjoy doing and the date I last did them.  The general premise was to identify something you love but haven’t done for a while, then do it.

Imagine my surprise when out of the twenty things I listed, most are activities that are already party of my regular life.  This felt like a revelation!  On a background level I’m aware I have a hell of a lot to be grateful for, but this exercise really brought home how much I’m already living my best life, I just need to take the time to appreciate it a bit more often.

It’s always been the little things that light me up, and I know this, but as with many of the things that make us feel good, it seems I always need reminding at least one more time.

Follow the light trail

With the meh lifted I had an urge to explore new ideas, which led to me to TikTok (no judgement please), and Tik Tok introduced me to a song that froze me in place, hairs standing up on the back of my neck, tears welling up behind my eyes.  In my list of twenty things,  I’d forgotten about the simple act of discovering new music.  I haven’t been paying much attention to music lately in my consumption of books, podcasts and social media and whilst live music had made it onto my list of twenty things I’d neglected the simple joy of discovering new songs.

It’s been a while since a song sparked such emotion in me, but this was just the beginning. Realising my body was telling me I needed a good cry, I set to work making a playlist to do just that, filling it with songs connected to important moments in my life.  Then I cranked up the volume and spent all afternoon cleaning the house and wailing along at the top of my lungs.  This is something I used to do regularly, but we’ve had builders in almost daily for the past couple of years (as much as I’ve grown in self-acceptance, subjecting someone who isn’t blood related to the sound of my singing is a line I can’t cross), and I hadn’t realised how much I’ve missed the simple combination of music and movement.  Yesterday it was just me, my tunes and the mop, and I made the most of it.

The lines in one of the songs that made it onto my playlist seemed written for the way I’ve been feeling lately.  Don’t you just love that about art?  Sometimes you can see, hear, or read something that resonates so deeply, it’s like the artist has reached into your soul to put into notes or words or pictures everything you feel, but up until that moment couldn’t quite make sense of.  It’s a magical connection.

So there’s this voice inside

Terrified, plagued with pride

Resonating sounding like my own

Then, piece by piece, so suddenly, no subtleties

Your beauty, it can bring me to my knees

William Prince, Breathless, from the album Earthly Days

All it takes is a little bit of awe at the world around us to bring us back to the present moment and remind us just how bloody magical this life can be, if we let it.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

What have you been forgetting lately that lights you up and brings you back to yourself?

By the way, if anyone is wondering what the TikTok song that made me FEEL is called, it’s The Wisp Sings by Winter Aid, it’s perfectly haunting and I can’t get it out of my head!


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4 thoughts on “A little bit of what lights you up

  1. Going to try this exercise. Definitely have chronic mehness, a condition that should be included in a medical dictionary for sure. I can think of a few things I have stopped doing recently…like walking and Zumba and eating healthily. No wonder I feel “Meh”. I did try writing 3 things I’m grateful for each day, but as you said, it felt forced for me too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’ve identified three paths of out of your mehness right there (but if only it were that easy, right? 😚)

      But you know that sooner or later you’ll pick up one of them again, which will lead to the other then the other and before you know it that mehness will be banished to the realms of the dictionary and you’ll be feeling more like yourself again.

      Another practice I’m trying to cultivate that comes more naturally to me than writing down things I’m grateful for is finding something small to marvel at each day, the other day it was as simple seeing a bus at the traffic lights proclaiming ‘Merry Christmas’ to me on its signage, other days it can be a an animal I take a moment to watch, or an extra hug I get from one of the kids, it’s all in noticing the little things as they happen instead of necessarily writing them down. At least that’s what works for me, everyone is different 😊

      Like

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