Trying hard or hardly trying? there’s a time to push and a time to allow

/ Rae Cod

I’ve made it a rule to live by that I don’t try too hard. That’s not to say that I don’t put in effort, but slow and steady has been by mantra these last few years and it seems to be serving me pretty well.

Once upon a time I was the person that got so focused (usually organising something ‘perfect’) she got tunnel vision, lost in her own head and a little a bit snappy with anyone outside of it. I think I’m a bit scared of her. Better to keep her chilled and take things one step at a time…

…until you’re in Venice and your husband tells you that you need to catch a vaporetto to the airport that’s 10 minutes walk away & you only have 8…then you let her out of the box; she’s very good in small doses.

I was not going to be the reason we missed that vaporetto, and that was my mantra as I missioned through the streets of Venice with a wheelie suitcase that at this point could possibly have been considered a weapon. I didn’t even look over my shoulder to check if hubby was following, I just trusted that he was in my slipstream.

I’d seen the delivery men with their push along carts laden with boxes negotiating these same streets earlier that day. Sitting with an aperitivo and the obligatory salted crisps, I watched them weave and walk with purpose, calling meandering tourists to move from their path with shouts of, “attenzione!” as they fulfilled their mission to deliver goods to the water-bound shops of Venice.

I copied their focused stride as I moved at speed through the crowds, my purposeful energy moving ahead of me to clear a path. We got to the dock just as the vaporetto’s rope was untied. If this has been a bus in Britain it may well have continued on its way, but we were in Italy now, where they forgive tardiness as an innately human trait. The Captain (are they called Captain’s? It’s a boat so why not?) tied back up and let us clamber aboard, as we huffed and puffed and apologised to the other passengers for the short delay.

As my husband and I settled into giggles and exchanges about how we couldn’t believe we made it, it occurred to me that we might not have. It wasn’t within my control whether we made it or not, but even if we hadn’t, I’d have given it my very best shot: I wouldn’t have been the reason we missed the vaporetto, it would just be life playing out as it’s supposed to, and there’s something very comforting in that thought.

You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude towards what happens to you, and in that you will be mastering change, rather than allowing it to master you.

Brian Tracy

Have a lovely Friday everyone.

Question time:

Are you a pusher, an allower or a bit of both? Examples welcome!

9 thoughts on “Trying hard or hardly trying? there’s a time to push and a time to allow”

  2. Are you a pusher, an allower or a bit of both? Examples welcome!

    I’m a bit of both. In an airport attempting to make a connecting flight, I’m a pusher. In a grocery store waiting in front of the deli counter to place my order, I’m an allower. It’s all about the context for me. 

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  4. What a lovely, well-written post! I am generally an allower. It seems like whenever I push, I regret it in some way, whether it’s physical injury or hurting someone’s feelings.

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  5. This was such a fun, funny and interesting post, Rae! You’re a really good storyteller! I learned a new word, vaporetto, and felt like I’d been transported to Venice with you! Thanks for that!
    Is that a photo of beautiful you?

    I like to think I’m pretty laid back but when it comes to cleaning the house when company is coming, or getting somewhere on time, I’m def a pusher.

    A student once asked the spiritual teacher Jiddu Krishnamurti what his secret to peace and contentment was. He leaned over and whispered to the student: ‘I don’t mind what happens.’” 

     
    What a goal: Taking Life in Stride.

    So I walk into the kitchen immediately after reading this and my partner is making tea for himself, using MY FAVORITE MUG that I use every morn and I say, “Oh that’s MY mug!” and he very kindly dumps his tea into another, but I dissolve into tears because I’ve failed so quickly at taking everything in stride. Oh well, we gotta take our failures in stride too, maybe even not considering them failures. I’m taking it in stride that I’m not taking things in stride.🤣🤣🤣

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    • Oh no Melanie, I’m with you on the mug front, some things we just have to stand up for! 😘

      I love that though, ‘I don’t mind what happens.’ It reminds me of a poem I once wrote (think it was called matters much) where the theme was that nothing matters much, but in a comforting way, rather than a hopeless one.

      No that’s not a pic of me, though I do love her dress! Glad you enjoyed the blog, and if you haven’t yet been to Venice on your travels I can definitely recommend it ☺️

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