Being as patient with my own children as I am with other people’s.
I can have an infinite amount of patience with other people’s children, yet there are many times when I struggle to extend this to my own.
Why is this?
Maybe it’s because I don’t take their behaviour as a reflection on my parenting.
Maybe it’s because their behaviour doesn’t hold up a mirror that reflects all of my fears and insecurities back at me (it’s usually one of those illuminated, magnifying mirrors that highlight all the bits of myself I’d rather not see).
Maybe it’s because I’m not in the company of other people’s children when I’m exhausted, busy, ravenous, or on the toilet (this last one is reaching it’s natural end, parents of toddlers rejoice that it should only take another six or seven years for you to be able to pee in privacy).
But I’m working on it.
Given the ever-shifting nature of the parent-child relationship, I’ll probably be working on it until they leave home, maybe even longer. Just ask my parents.
Resources that are helping me with this:
Calm Parents, Happy Kids: The Secrets of Stress Free Parenting, Dr Laura Markham 2014
The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children, Dr Shefali Tsabary 2015
Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent, Iris Chen 2020
The Parenting Junkie Show with Avital Schreiber-Levy (Podcast)
The Motherkind Podcast with Zoe Blaskey